Slip of the lips,
shift of the hips.
[waft of perfume
within the room]
Flicker of light,
mood feels just right.
[feeling of doom
begins to bloom]
I came wet with truth.
You?
 Dry like vermouth.

.j.

TGIF!
So,

I’m wearing confetti
in my hair today.

People will judge.

I’m fine with that
because those are
the sort of people
who need confetti
in their hair the most.

~j

Those memories of you

wouldn’t leave me alone,

so I gave up my bed,

let them clutter my home.

I then retreated

to the hall,

apologetic smiles

to one and all,

as they stepped over me

on the way to their lives

that were happy

and normal

and not cutting

like knives.

And then

a moment of us

took me as I sat, 

unaware.

You, reaching up,

pushing back the bangs

of my hair,

whispering to me

that’d you’d always

be there.

[Wow.

You weren’t kidding,

were you?]

~j~

I find
writing
to be
a bit like
cutting
the grass.
Something
you just
have to do
on a regular
basis
or it gets
far too out of
control
and wild
things
begin to
take root
~j~

Plato once said,

“Music and rhythm
find their way
into the secret
places of the soul.”

Ah, souls
set to music.

How lovely!

Why, it’s almost
like having a theme
song for your life!

That must totally rock
for some of you.

Good thing for me,
I have an internal score
composed
by
drunken
fucking
 clowns.

~j

“I want to fall in love in such a way 

that the mere sight of a man, 

even a block away from me, 

will shake and pierce me, 

will weaken me,

 and make me tremble

 and soften and melt.” 

― Anaïs Nin, 'Delta of Venus’

~:~

Yes, Ms. Nin, Yes.

Let’s hope a love like this is worth the fall.

.j.

Picture this;

Man in stress,

head down,

depressed.

Bleeding hand

clutched tight

to vest,

shallow breathing

rocking chest. 

There but

for the

grace of God

go you, 

not  I, 

for I’m

a girl

who makes

boys cry. 

Now,
Shh

don’t speak.

It’s best.

Just pass me by.

Jusy move on to the next.

.j.

Your like the monster
 that lives under her bed

I implore you
 to get out of her head

take with you your shit
 and all that matters

just keep moving,
don't even dare look back at her

she is tired of your dishonest promises,
 your flimsy house of cards

like fine shattered crystal,
you've pierced her with your shards 

and she bleeds you out
all over her sheets

her dreams now all nightmares,
 just give her some peace

~j~

I can still feel
your heat
in the palm of
my hand.

Now.

If I were to commit
an offendable crime,
I’d likely leave
your prints behind.

.j.

Safety.
That’s what
I want.
Peace,
comfort,
serenity,
release.
I don’t want
money.
I’ve no need
for more things.
I want just
the strength
of a boys arms
and the love
he brings.
~j

I talked with

with someone
about boats
today.

How life is
like a journey
upon water,
and we each
are responsible
to steer our own.

All of us.
Out there.
Floating alone.

It’s no wonder
why we never
seem to be
going anywhere.

The ocean is
too fucking crowded.

.j.

And so I desire us

to be thus;

Our scents combined,

your lips on mine,

these hands, they brush,

my skin, all flushed,

our pieces puzzled,

our voices muffled,

sweet taste of sweat,

both give

both get.

~j~

That wicked, wounding, cut of love,

like razors on the skin.

I’d sooner die than show my face

so I'll keep it all within.

There is no beauty to be found

in joy or hope or faith unbound,

just confusion, ache, 

with all they take,

while they run your ship aground.

~j

  I hate it when people tell me to
 ‘hang in there’
  because  
 ‘better days are coming'
  I’m fine with my days. 
 It’s these fucking nights
 that suck.
 ~j~

I stood in the window,

tattooed by the trees,

their shadows upon me,

as I watched you leave.

You took with you, my world

and all I ever craved.

That timing, she really is a bitch.

I had known in my heart, 

everything was about to cave.

And now,

the moon,

 it does constantly change.

just as my heart, 

tries desperately to rearrange.

yet sometimes, late at night,

I still seek those shadows of trees

while standing still in the moon light,

I like to feel them on me

in the dead of night,

they feel good, etched across my form

for they bring back a memory of you,

that still keeps me warm

they bring with them

 a familiar rush,

in the mind of crazy, 

they bring to me 

a quiet hush

No, 

your no longer there,

but theres something with the scent

of that midnight air.

Those shadows of trees 

bring some consolation,

when my heart feels like its drowning,

in complete desperation.

~j~

Some lace

their shoes

and that’s

enough.

Some lace

their souls

by acting

tough.

Whatever

it takes

to just feel

safe,

you shouldn’t

be judged

by the choices

you make.

~j~

Adam;
For Christ’s sake!
Enough with the
apples, already.


Any chance of
possibly getting some
strawberries
around here?


Eve.

Why bother to love?

What is there to be said

for an ache so severe,

one would welcome

quick death?

[Oh trust me, I know]

Haven’t you heard tell

of the stories,

Even I have been privy to the emptiest

'I’m sorries.'

There’s no good

that can come

of suffering so.

So, I’ll never love.

From now on,

I’ll just 

cum

and then go.

~j~

I think of you.
You tell me,
you think of me.
Suddenly,
Those miles apart?
They cease to be.

I miss you.
You tell me,
you miss me.
Suddenly,
my restless heart feels at ease.

I need you.
You tell me,
you need me.
Suddenly,
my soul is on it’s knees.

Then I glimpse around
at reality,
and my heart
just 
b l e e d s.

.j.

Tranquility,
shades of lace,
sheet of cotton
‘gainst my face,
breathe in,
slowly,
feel the air
upon my skin, 
and through my hair
let the mind go,
someplace distant
until all these feelings
 become indifferent.
~j~

I cary rage

as a weapon

I am vicious

like venom

I use words 

like grenades 

[ I have my fathers eyes ]

you inflict pain

I will leave a stain

on your sheets 

your wall

and then

 I'll torch it all

[ I have my fathers frame ]

I'll throw sticks and stones

so hard, I'll break my own bones

[ I have my fathers nose ]

I'll scream deep from my lungs

until my very last breath

to ensure you die 

a 

slow 

painful 

death

all these weapons, I keep close

[ I have my mothers heart 

of which I 

REFUSE

to expose. ]

.j.

~ naked thoughts ~

Please,
explore my body as you wish
and yes, I agree

'naked, is what we need to be'

but you must know
right now 
'fully exposed'
just isnt for me

I fear its my heart
that you might see

and currently 
im not well
im sick with the secrets 
my heart
and my body 
will surely tell

the truth is complicated 
and its much easier to lie
lets just sweat it out with intense pleasure
while I continue to 'detoxify' 

let me just 
spread my legs apart 
you can have it all,
or.. have it a la carte

its easier to push your head lower 
then to say whats going on in my head
lets not talk
lets just aim to break this bed

because,
its easier to say
'make love to me'
then to say 
'love me and only me'

so,
lets just stick to sinful fun
then theres never disappointment 
and 
non-exsistent
apologies 

because, 
of all the things I need in a boy
I often forget to look for that 
rare 
quality 

.j.

stay

away

from

me

I can already 

smell 

and 

taste 

the ways 

you will

hurt me

stay

away

from

me

I have a broken heart
that feeds 
on 
flesh
and 
poetry

stay 
away 
from 
me

im
not looking
for 
another
fucking 
muse

.j.

I like your words, the way they stroke,
the linguistic rush that you evoke.

[you feel me, touch me
kiss me, fuck me]

Slip your noun into my genes,
verb me like I’ve never seen,
paragraph my earthly woes,
take me, verbose, before you go.

~j~