I came upon you
in your field
and I stood there,
lost amidst a sea
of wildflower,
and watched you.
I held my breath.
I clenched my fists.
I tried hard as I could
to just be missed
and watched you.
Then soon it became
quite apparent that,
no matter the noise,
I was quite transparent
as I watched you.
So next I screamed
and waved my arms
but nothing I did
caused you much alarm

and so 

I
 left you.

~j

Love is
a cherry.
Red,
sweet,
sour;
leaves
a stain
behind
that you
just can’t
get out.
And,
when you
finally
get to
the heart
of it all,
you discover
it’s nothing
but the pits

.j.

I think ill dance in my living room tonight

bare naked, in the pale of night

ill dance and sing

 in hopes to feel alright 

till these tears stop, 

or I can't stand upright

pour my emotions 

over melted ice

{even us tough girls, need a vice}

ill sing on bold

 while its her you hold

blare the tunes

 cry to the moon

until I can no longer feel

 this

pain

and if I wake 

still haunted

 ill do it 

all 

again

 .j.

Please

don’t be

just

another

‘forgive me’

man

and I promise

that I’ll

try not

to be

just

another

‘accept me’

girl.

.j.

With you and I
there’s a
silent way.
I think.
You say.
With you and I,
there’s an
ease to it.
Opening up.
Bit by bit.
With you and I
there’s a
something new.
You get me.
I get you.

.j.

Today we discussed 

the possible us 

in you and I.

Every syllable spoken 

left me burning 

to cry.

A home made 

meal

matching socks,

toe to heel

a couch,  a movie

on just an ordinary Tuesday

Your  hands 

in my hair

whilst mine 

roam your hips.

More tears, 

as we may never 

have this.

Unacceptable,

regrettable pain 

that I’ll name

The Dark Abyss.

.j.

You,
that pond,
all dank
and dark.
Me,
that leaf.
[but think
my heart]
I float on you.
I slip beneath.
I see a shore
I cannot reach.
I await
the wind
to take
me home
but,
until it comes,
I drift,
alone

j.

In a world full of sleepers,
tomorrows keep,
silent and sorrowed,
for in this world
full of dreamers
with hearts at peace,
faith’s just borrowed
and then leant out
as quickly
as that faith comes in
with the hope that
tomorrows will finally begin.
.j.

a few simple letters 

took a fall off the wall

didn’t take much,

didn’t take much at all

now the pictures completely changed 

from what it used to look like

[can you even recall?]

i only hope those letters make it out alive 

have the strength to walk through that door 

and keep moving

right 

down 

the 

hall

.j.

ill fix you

ill hold you

ill cleanse the tears from your skin

just let me know 

when my own heartbreak shall begin

ill do all this for you

and put

 my soul 

aside

 ill sip of your hope

and just pray it 

not 

cyanide

.j.

*Memories*

Your body slightly ahead of me,

as I admired your silhouette.

A shape, I had hoped, 

never to forget.

With a walk, 

adorably all your own.

My eyes fixated

on to the  back of your beautiful collar bone.

A place, I was thinking, 

I’d gladly sink my teeth into.

And then all at once, 

it’s like you knew.

Maybe you heard my heart beating 

like a drum behind you.

That confident reach,

your fingers through the dark.

They found there way to me,

and in that exact moment,

slipped right into my heart.

~j~

that heavy in your chest

to hard to breathe, impossible to move.

that lump in your throat,

that feels more like a noose.

the sadness that fills,

each ounce of your being.

no tears left to cry,

 yet, your heart is still bleeding.

so much to ask,

too much to say,

but what does it matter

theres no miracle cure

and you won’t get your answer.

because,

 theres no saving you from this pain.

deep down, 

you know,

your own stupidity

 is to blame

but you are so 

  desperate 

for 

repair

because this shit,

 is simply too much 

to 

fucking

bear.

.j.

:NEWSFLASH:

I won’t be
drowning 
in your
adoration
anymore.

:Pool’s Now Closed:

[Chained hardcore.]

.j.

Once in awhile

I let myself out,

slip past these walls,

see what life is about,

and I stand in the sun,

try to soak up the heat,

as I wonder how it might feel

to live one day complete,

..or does everyone 
live their life

riddled with holes 

and an emptiness, 
hollow,

in the pit of their souls?

~j~

Electrons, molecules, 
Sweet subtonic particles.
I’ve really no idea, 
what makes up your arsenal.

Intensely charged protons and neutrons,

It’s something
 electromagnetic.
But I’ve no doubt 
 that this
could be epic.

Damn. 

I really wish I hadn’t cheated my way through chemistry.

Because then

 I might be able to explain

why some boys

 move you 

chemically 

more

then most ever will.

~j~